Am I meant to be social, or not?

August 26, 2021 at 14:03 (UT/GMT)
(Leo) Anni23
Am I meant to be social, or not?
I know that this is a odd question. That I should really know the answer to and it might sound strange but by this stage of my life I have gone through enough to make me question? But almost not enough to know. At this point I am just taking some time for myself and I don´t currently know if I would like to be more social/or if I will be

But I know that it really wouldn´t be my choice anyway.

So any opinons are welcome! (To whatever effect, I will brace myself)

Posts in topic

Sort posts:
September 5, 2021 at 15:37
(Scorpio) OS* » Anni23
Seems like you were "at sixes and sevens" past couple years. Hopefully you can turn that around. . . and no, I didn´t mean Karma.
September 5, 2021 at 15:27
(Leo) Anni23 » OS*
Ahh you mean karma. Yeah I´ve already felt that the last year before now
September 5, 2021 at 12:37
(Scorpio) OS* » Anni23
it is a universal law. not a man-made law. -you reap what you sow.
September 5, 2021 at 09:16
(Leo) Anni23 » OS*
Ohh it was great and terrible ahahha. For extended times I was like "this isn´t so bad, humility is ok, being alone is ok..", because I´m primarily a stoic, but then I got hit with the "weight" of my realizations. /sacrifices

What do you mean by the law of compensation?..
You say this will involve socialising/or the opportunity for it if I should take it? :25:
September 5, 2021 at 09:10
(Leo) Anni23 » Sunnyshadow
"am I really supposed to be talking to this many people??? Something just doesnt feel "right" about it."


Even doing it too well can make you feel something like guilt from the belated realisation that you don´t know even Why you were just social for no reason.

Also don´t listen to me lol. I do have high hopes that this will end as a "extended phase.." being alternatively the prey of superficial interactions or a hermit. :61:
September 5, 2021 at 08:06
(Scorpio) OS* » Anni23
I might be assuming, but from previous conversations you seemed to think 7 personal cycle is a difficult one?

There are no “bad” numbers (or cycles), there’s always, Always, a duality, hence can be expressed very negatively or Positively. . .

This would be the period to gather all your forces and branch out. Time to bear the fruits of your labor. plan, think, and Act! You’re running on “law of compensation” for the next. . .which is not just narrowed to financial gains. If I were you, I’d take full advantage of that. There’s big things to be done and big opportunities for their doing. (though, you can’t gouch and isolate yourself) Be very careful how you use your power, (because your own race horse might throw you off its back) watch closely how you use that power, utilize your time and energy very wisely/.
September 5, 2021 at 06:01
(Leo) Sunnyshadow » Anni23
Its alot to think about.

"Which may be why people often expect that I care more than I actually do
Errgh and just the libra asc itself contributes to this false impression dont you think?"

I totally relate to this. I dont know if its libra asc. or cancer MC. (Which is supposedly connected with being a caregiver type, sensitive or intuitive to other peoples needs. Along with alot of other stuff.)

I think by having these social placements as well as non-social placements just puts us in a hard spot sometimes.

"Like being possibly good at socialising then having some mini existential crisis because of suddenly wondering why you are doing it.."

I think this explains it pretty good. I can be going along and doing good, but if too much pressure is put on me to interact all at once, or if the wrong kind of situation arises, I can get overwhelmed and some kind of self-defense mechanism kicks in. Suddenly just want it all to stop!

Ive got better at it over the years. Or at least just how to mask it. I often really wonder though, am I really supposed to be talking to this many people??? Something just doesnt feel "right" about it.

Just conflicts in our charts, I suppose.

It sucks when you read one description of one aspect, and you can see yourself in that. But then read another thats 180° opposite and you also relate to that. Just feels like a tug of war going on.

Lifes a garden, dig it.

Joe Dirt 🤣
August 30, 2021 at 05:35
(Leo) Anni23 » Lilydias
Hug, sob, hug

Thank you

Maybe you are right.. need to think on it more but also not too much.
I should get out more lool

Its just a have completed a 7 (numerology) year.. which left me doubting a lot (and having learnt things too)

I do actually take socialising seriously and am aware that i may have kind of failed (though likely it wasn´t mainly my fault)
but what has been my fault is the reactions I have had..
I suppose I have judged myself harshly before though

(Lol I´m actually not this dramatic..)
August 29, 2021 at 12:31
(Virgo) Lilydias
Gemini Venus, Leo sun, libra asc. You were born to be sociable and have a big circle of friends. Maybe the moon placed in 12th H makes you feel reserved, you might keep things to yourself and fear to open up to others. You might experience these opposite energies. But you could try to find the right balance. Socialize but also take time to yourself to recharge, connect with nature and be careful who you hang around. <3
August 28, 2021 at 07:10
(Leo) Anni23 » Sunnyshadow
Ahhaha I relate to all of this too much. Like being possibly good at socialising then having some mini existential crisis because of suddenly wondering why you are doing it..

Well I have just come out of a 7 year so I am doubting my social abilities/desire to socialise, quite rightly I think.

But also it is both convenient and inconvenient the idea of expecting to mainly socialise superficially most of the time. I don´t think that it is a conscious decision.
For the not part I am completely over that, however.. to think that we can expect more of this pointless-inane...

At least think that you get something from it, and at least it isn´t one on one interactions that expect something more then the relatively "superficial" interaction that the task demands.

Of course your probably stuck in a similar tight spot that I am, judging by what you said, with people expecting more and perhaps not even knowing "what".

If only they knew I might have the time for "some" of them!

I completely get the stress from these intersecting issues..

Also additionally for some possibly extra reasons people have had unreasonable expectations of me (like I don´t eventually meet their standards, though they used me before to understand them etc.)

Your right, it could partially be the cancer mc that people sense as part of our vibe.. :23:

Which may be why people often expect that I care more than I actually do
Errgh and just the libra asc itself contributes to this false impression dont you think?

On the other hand, conversely with your sun also being in the 11th (and maybe mine too) do you feel that in addition to the vibe of "sensitivity/being intune with others" this adds to your impression of confidence, that others have in you because of it being in leo or because of the Aquarian influence?
Is the leo or Aquarian qualities more evident? And this may balance the libra-cancer vibe
August 28, 2021 at 01:03
(Pisces) fishscales
Go with your natural rythyms...


Why pick at static, immovable side, or assign a label or rulebook to yourself?

Go where the current takes you, and with what you feel (not think) you need at the time.

Life is a series of ebbs and flows.
August 27, 2021 at 18:24
(Leo) Sunnyshadow » Anni23
I ended up being a public type of person via retail business. Know thousands, tens of thousands of people very casually. They all want to know me somehow. I think Cancer MC is an important key to this. But at the end of the day (or even the beginning of the day :61:) i really want to be left alone and not be so exposed. I dream of working in isolation, being left alone.

I can thank Saturn and North node in 12th house for that. As well as Pluto in 1st house.

Its stressful AF really
August 27, 2021 at 17:11
(Leo) Anni23 » Sunnyshadow
I just realised that we are both leos with libra ascendants! Guess that doesn´t guarantee the oozing of social energy :61:

Also my sun is in the 11th using whole signs, so actually I´m curious about what your experience of this has been?
August 27, 2021 at 12:46
(Leo) Anni23 » Sunnyshadow
I´m glad that you find the humour in it :61: :61: I do too (at the best of times)

The confliction is Real :23:
August 27, 2021 at 12:10
(Leo) Sunnyshadow
Lol, this thread title. The story of my life

I think its very annoying having both social and non-social aspects

Like, what are we supposed to do?

August 27, 2021 at 11:24
(Aries) JayJayAstrology » cubic
Meditation is difficult for everyone - especially for a good while at the beginning - I´m talking years. It took me a long time to be able to quiet my mind and have some control or choice over what I think. But it is worth it.

Most people don´t do well with just trying to stop thoughts while looking at an object. I think the best meditation is watching the thoughts - being the watcher - or observer - and simply watching. You can watch your breath too - but just paying attention to thoughts is challenging enough - to always be watching. If and when you get lost in the thoughts and are no longer watching, you just start watching again when you catch yourself. That´s the practice. Very simple. The more you watch, the more you become the watcher - or observer - or witness - whatever word you like. It is you watching - the real you - your soulful presence - your consciousness. So you become more and more peaceful - because the watcher has no thinking - it is peace itself.

You can do it all day long - you don´t have to sit quietly for it. You can watch yourself doing dishes, cooking, cleaning, typing at the computer - watching TV, walking the dog, singing, talking to a friend, taking a shower - even driving - or shopping or anything else - because it actually increases awareness and ability to focus attention. If you practice being present for your thoughts - you will also know what you think a lot better - and there comes a time when you have power over what you think and when you want to think - if you make it a practice - as much as you can during the day. The more you practice, the faster that time comes.

And as long as you are watching, you will also be more in tune with what you feel - because you are present for what arises. We aren´t trying to stop any thought or feeling - just be present - so it increases awareness of all your conditioned thoughts, feelings and behaviors.

I don´t believe all words are lies. We need language to communicate - and function in the world. Words are symbols, yes, but it doesn´t mean they don´t convey anything real or good. Saying all words are lies is saying the we ourselves are lives. People do tell lies - to themselves and others - but that is a different subject.
August 27, 2021 at 06:21
(Leo) cubic » JayJayAstrology
"If you are in your mind, you won´t feel connected with spirit. Mind is the enemy - to inner peace and connection with soulful energy."

Pure gold here of an advice. For everyone too.

Personally meditation only couldn´t do it for me, even though I might have been doing it wrong. It helped temporarily. I needed convincing first from multiple sides and perspectives to let go of thinking. Mainly Jesse Lee Peterson´s take on it. Indeed all thoughts are lies, and we don´t know where they come from even. There is no shortage of spiritually inclined thinkers to persistently affirm that notion.

"the heavier ones are better - lifting weights, kick boxing - that kind of thing."

There is just no way around it, no matter what, and I´ve tried a lot of things. The default urge of that Moon is to escape reality, and one has to go against that urge and be more embodied.

Working out will create neuropathways that will stick, and will lessen the products of the fantasy factory. You´ll still want to escape from time to time but it´s a whole different way of existence, simpler and less fantastic, and yes life can seem more boring in that mode of existence, but what you get is more real also, and there is no other life I´m aware of.

Long walks while maintaining peripheral awareness are great for auto-processing emotions, even if they don´t reach consciousness.
August 27, 2021 at 05:44
(Leo) Anni23 » JayJayAstrology
I call it a double whammy haha (virgo-12th house). Though I find increasingly that I am not without any resources as I have mentioned (jupiter and even my moon itself I guess won´t let me get carried away usually, which I suppose is good in a way)
I do feel like I could be ok even if I lost everything oddly enough. But of course I am avoiding the compelte arrogance associated with this, not least because I don´t know if it is my path.

We should not ask for what is not our own. Suffering in different ways is expected, to be embraced if it happens organically (though my moon doesn´t 100% like that prior to now). I could be more optimistic, and I would be but then I sometimes feel like the fool..

Your right often I feel that I end up manipulating how I feel about something. So I´ve come to the point of not trusting my mind so much, or as it is linked to anything tangible

I admit that I´m the kind of person to see things as relatively black or white. Even things are simply ok, and whatever little you have ypu have Or I have no peace of mind because something feels.. "off"
I mean there is logic involved in this too and enough humility to disregard the substance of everyday/purely empirical logic.

I can see too that my personal issues have a lot to do with this, and my perceptions.

I have already had to let go of So much.. and it´s fine, to realise that part of my own perception may have been false

I do really believe it is a
perceptive issue.

Another thing that I think may be contributing is my moon sextile my mercury in cancer, I think that it may add to the sense of confliction between logic and.. feelings>/"fantasy"

Then other people add a odd element to the mix by my feeling completely disconnected from people/the ideas that they have
(Sometimes I feel a odd "sense" of general responsibility/guilt towards people even when it hasn´t been possible to be actualised)

So I basically have come to the conclusion and agree by now that some degree of "not knowing" is for the best
August 26, 2021 at 18:59
(Aries) JayJayAstrology » Anni23
Oh my. You know, it kind of feels like the Virgo more than 12th house - like you are second guessing yourself all the time. Virgo is self-doubting and self-critical - and you´ve got Mars conjunct Moon - making Virgo extra-feisty.

Virgo Moon can also be too much in the thinking mind. It is ruled by Mercury. The mind can be very tricky. If you think too much you can talk yourself into or out of just about anything. Lawyers do it all the time. they can argue a case and win out of sheer Mercury cleverness.

The 12th house is a place to let go - so your chart is actually saying to let go of too much Virgo mentation - and any negative Virgo qualities - like self-doubt, self-criticism, perfectionism, having to get it right, having impossible high standards . . .

If you are in your mind, you won´t feel connected with spirit. Mind is the enemy - to inner peace and connection with soulful energy.

It´s possible that if you can become more comfortable with not knowing, that you´ll actually feel more connected with Soul. In part, it is letting go of YOU having to figure it all out. I recommend meditation to everyone - and I would not exempt you from that recommendation. It can really help to quiet the mind. I´m a long-time meditator. It does take a while before seeing the benefit - you have to keep at it before you get some control over the wild mind - but it does work.

We know what´s real by how we feel in the body. If you are in your head and not in the body - then this is something else you could work on - ground yourself in your body. Yoga is good for that - so is exercise of all kinds - but the heavier ones are better - lifting weights, kick boxing - that kind of thing.
August 26, 2021 at 17:09
(Leo) Anni23 » JayJayAstrology
I feel it is very conflicted, whatever I perceive my own personal life path should be. I´m not even sure at the moment what I want. I would have thought that I would have "simple" questions about my life settled by my age

Of course I have damned 12th house issues of what feels at times like a split conciousness/responsibility but then also a deep seperateness :23:

I think that my biggest problem is my 12th house moon. It is confusing, when and how it chooses to reveal itself and my emotions

I actually think that my ability to socialise is better than the general outcome, I just doubt my inclination or energy... I do like people generally, though I feel something like fear I think.
When life has given me isolation again and honestly it almost feels better than what the alternative could be.
I feel that I can´t deal with any more relationships right now that have no soul, but they are so hard to come by that I know I would prefer to be alone. And so this may continue..

(As for my own personal emotions.., I sometimes have them and they feel like they could be false, and everything else as well. As if it doesn´t make sense, as if I have imagined them.. well they seem to be tied up in other thoughts/concepts I think is the problem
I do write actually but I don´t even know right now if what I write had any value whatsoever either)

Balance seems impossible at the moment

Yes you have replied to another similar post of mine not long ago.. and it did help me somewhat in sorting out some issues in my head. Thank you :1:
Though I wonder how deep my issues run..
I´m trying to cultivate humility about it but I´m aware of the effect my moon and jupiter have to wash over the situation and bury my emotions/"bad" assumptions

Spirituality is tied up in all this too.. at the moment I´m not feeling the connectedness of anything and I don´t know how closely I should follow it because it may reveal to me things that I do not want to be true, but also I´m relatively skeptical. But if it is true it could offer me some kind of salvation which I´m not sure if I have earned enough.. but also have some higher price

But I´m most afraid of remaining skeptical and unknowing of what supposedly I could have some access to. But what if that removes me from other people?? (Though even the idea of other people messes with my mind for awhile now)
August 26, 2021 at 14:36
(Aries) JayJayAstrology
Looking at your chart, it´s a reasonable question. You have both - very relational symbols but also some solitariness here. I have no doubt that you need to balance the two parts of yourself.

Capricorn IC is solitary, unemotional, serious. Saturn is in Aquarius in the 5th house - quite serious. You are about changing this very serious part of yourself with Saturn in Aquarius, but it is still there. It´s not a bad part - it´s just a part. If you feel sad or depressed, it´s partly because of the Capricorn / Saturn. You don´t have a really good outlet for your feelings. You tend to be mentally/intellectually oriented - even when it comes to feelings - so what you really need is a good outlet for them.

Have I answered like this in one of your posts already? I somehow feel like I´ve already commented on these themes.

I think you´d do well to write out your feelings - because you could be a very good writer.

The thing is, when you are social, you are more or less getting a lot of "strokes" from people and it feels good - but it´s more or less shallow. The Capricorn / Saturn is more solitary - but not especially helpful in getting to your feelings - which you really need to find your deeper, truer you. So, neither one really gives you what you want - being social or being alone.

I truly recommend writing out your feelings. You´ll have to make an effort to do it . . . to get at your feelings . . . but you can. Then your alone time will feel more fulfilling and you´ll change the way you do relationships when you are being social.

Is this helpful? Or am I missing something?


LOW COST BEGINNER´S TUESDAY CLASS BEGINS SEPT 14, 2021 - 30 WEEKS - INFORMATION:…. I do western astrology readings, dream interpretation, and mind-body healing by a donation of your choice - and classes at reasonable rates. Sign up for my newsletter!

Current Planets, Astrology Transits, Chart of this moment
Current planets
Planetary positions
Show chart »
Lunar calendar 2022
Moon calendar
Moon in Leo Leo
Show calendar »