Scorpio MC and 8th house sun: paranoid?

July 19, 2021 at 11:08 (UT/GMT)
(Libra) badmoonrising
Scorpio MC and 8th house sun: paranoid?
Hi everybody,

I have a real issue with privacy and I really don’t like people to know me. I prefer to be alone, and I am suspicious of peoples intentions almost to an obsessive level… I do not trust people at all. I am terrified of betrayal

Whenever I have revealed my vulnerabilities to a friend, I will lie awake at night wondering “how will this come back to bite me in the butt?”

I am really good at getting information on people, finding people, and picking up on subliminal things when someone’s speaking to me. But I do not want to be known. I hate when somebody knows me enough to predict me

What’s up with this? It seems ebb and flow with the intensity. Some times I feel really detached and I enjoy playing games with people that think they can fix me, control me, or change me. Other times I just get extremely defensive and cold, I can cut somebody out with a surgeons precision. So why am I like this??

I’m kinda just resigned to it now. I don’t think I will ever be an extrovert or a candid, open person. But idk, I’m curious to see people’s opinions of these aspects
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July 21, 2021 at 07:30
(Taurus) Dilanakia
You are a libra in 9 th house. 9 th house is the home house of Sagittarius which is mother light hearted , fun, positive , extrovert sign like libra.

Your vx is in Gemini. So you are attracted to geminis and most of your 5 th house is in Gemini. I d say Gemini is the most fun fun sign.

You can try and embrace or take out your air side. Read about those signs and focus on those even though at first it doesn’t resonate with you.

I m talking from a personal experience as I also have very strong Scorpio shadow side on my chart. But I focus on my Venus in Gemini . Once you learn to let go of your paranoia you ll feel much lighter.
July 21, 2021 at 04:29
(Libra) badmoonrising » Cheliel
Thankyou Cheliel…your words have really touched me. I know, I have gotten lost in these feelings. And frustrations, resentment, anger and fear. I have a lot of fear surrounding men. I think it is time I really dissect these feelings. I am really tired of living like this… and it is so easy to blame everybody else for my own pain and discomfort. I guess I have just been marinating in my victim hood, too easy, and become comfortable there

Rationally, I know that people are not all bad, but it’s hard to put faith in that

Maybe you are right, I have become reliant on other people to make me feel loved. The day my dad left ripped my heart out and threw it on the floor. I don’t know how to get over that. He told me i’ll die alone, and that I won’t ever have a family of my own. He was always aggressive but he never abandoned me like that, I never thought he would do that. And there wasn’t time to do anything, but work myself to the bone trying to move my mum & siblings things out of the house before he came back. I had so much anxiety my chest was twisted and tight for days on end, I thought I was having a heart attack or some unexpected illness

He never protected me. He didn’t care, when I needed him to protect me. He just did nothing. Pretended like it didn’t matter or didn’t happen. I hate that I love him. That’s what scares me about the uncontrollable nature of love. I am TERRIFIED of it. People know my father as this fun jovial guy, no idea what goes on behind closed doors, I could walk past him in a stranger on the street. I could fall in love with somebody just like him and I would never know until it’s too late
July 20, 2021 at 15:55
(Leo) Cheliel » badmoonrising
It is probably necessary that you go through the details of the experiences of betrayal that you have undergone, to be able to unravel the problem of loss of self-confidence that this has generated.

If you don´t trust yourself, how can you trust others? It´s the snake that bites its own tail. So you have to start to reclaim the possibility of having confidence in yourself, in what you are, and in what you feel capable of achieving.

If you need the love of others to find your own value, to value who you are, you run the risk of becoming emotionally dependent and therefore of being under the influence (of fear, of the other, of situations...).

If you isolate yourself and refuse to create a personal link with others, you run the risk of withdrawing totally into yourself, of becoming agoraphobic, of sinking into a form of misanthropy and thus of living in a permanent and burdensome emotional frustration.

We don´t love people to satisfy ourselves, to get their support or to make them give us value, for what we would like them to become, but for what they are. Otherwise it is not love, but blackmail.

With this in mind, forgive yourself for being naive and forgive others for the betrayals you have suffered (you don´t necessarily do it for them, but to stop harboring resentment and be at peace with yourself). Just because someone has violated your feelings doesn´t mean you aren´t worthy of love and that everyone else will give you the same intimate hurt if you confide in them.

It reminds me of the raped woman who feels guilty for what happened to her when she was the victim. If she doesn´t work on her self-esteem, she won´t be able to overcome this state of being an object. If she does not work on her self-esteem, she will not be able to overcome this state which makes her an object. She will not consider herself, will resent all men or will see in each male a potential enemy.

We are all fallible, each one has wounds and traumas which disturb us and oblige us to find solutions. We make mistakes as we learn to cope, and we cling to the solutions that were the least worst.

You don´t need others to value you (your actions define you, not what others say), but to share your light and the generosity of what drives you.
July 19, 2021 at 23:50
(Libra) badmoonrising » ZynCitrus
Is that whole houses? I don’t use that
July 19, 2021 at 23:48
(Libra) badmoonrising » Cheliel
Yes…. I understand what betrayal means. I have been deeply betrayed by people I love and trust. My father particularly but I don’t want to get into that. I just think most people in this world are out for themselves. In the end, they will always do what serves them no matter how much you love them, or you cry for them, or you care for them. I feel like I have lost faith in people. I don’t even remember how I got here… I wish I could go back, I used to feel a lot lighter. But I feel so heavy, mistrustful, and alone. This pessimistic mind set is so stifling

I want love, I want attachments, i want to trust people and be open. It is just the way doing that glances over that old wound I can’t help it, It feels too much, like I would rather destroy it and not run the risk. It hurts to connect and it sucks being alone… idk what to do.

I am rambling, I know I’m sorry. Thank you for your insights
July 19, 2021 at 23:38
(Libra) badmoonrising » OctoberScorpio
I know it is contradictory, I am just tired of being this way. I feel extremely unhappy, detached, and unable to connect with people… I would like to change but I’m not sure how

Thank you for your advice, that is a good idea. I tend to get really all or nothing and then become a self-fulfilling prophecy, so maybe I should temper what I say more. Cheers
July 19, 2021 at 22:15
(Scorpio) OctoberScorpio
First, seems pretty contradictory that you don’t want anyone to know you or figure you out yet you’re posting the chart here for everyone to see.

So, I’ll be brief.

You are more Aquarian than Libra.

You have Mars, Lilith and Pluto conjunct, and square to your Moon.

Chart ruler is in the 4th.

Your SN is in 12th.

You are life path 7.

My advice. When you share stuff, make sure it’s things you don’t mind coming out. Then you’ll know who to really trust. Because of your life path number, you’ll always be more solitary, and probably will have very little tolerance for ignorance, make sure you surround yourself with likeminded people. . .

Good Luck!
July 19, 2021 at 21:41
(Cancer) ZynCitrus
your sun is in the 9th, so it´s disposer... change your dealer, or just quit with it all together :2:
July 19, 2021 at 13:53
(Leo) Cheliel
Hello to you

We can only be betrayed by people we love or value, so if you are terrified of betrayal it may be a consequence and not a cause. The cause here would be that you are afraid to invest yourself emotionally and sentimentally. As far as I am concerned, I don´t think it is the Scorpio aspect of your chart that is at play, because the Scorpio is bathed in the deep waters of emotion.

If you´re good at picking people up, why are you afraid they´ll betray you? Isn´t that contradictory? Maybe you´re confusing the intentions you project onto them with guessing what motivates them, right?

The cutting edge can come from Uranus in the ascendant, which wants to be independent and above all, different at all costs. In house XII, there is a need to protect oneself by and for difference, thus consciously cutting oneself off from others. The Uranian function does not impose itself like the solar function whose goal is to make individual principles shine, but its problematic refers anyway to the personal power to change the rules of the game, to upset the codes.

Saturn on the nadir in quadrature with Uranus should not make things any easier either. The construction of the intimate foundations (4th house) is made of rigor and observation on a background of skepticism (which also touches the emotional side because it is in square to Venus in the 7th house). If this skepticism is transformed into judgments, it is possible that you will end up fearing that people will interpret you in the same way as you see them, in which case you must leave the value judgment concerning them and simply be in detached observation.

Venus square Saturn is not known for being an emotionally engaging aspect, and therefore in the externalization of feelings. There is a certain distrust that can result from such an aspect as feelings challenge critical observations. What is perceived is contradictory with what is experienced, hence a certain confusion, a lack of confidence in oneself and in others.

It is perhaps necessary to learn to dispassionate impressions, not to give emotional values to what is perceived, in order to be able to structure personal tastes on something other than binary and reductive value judgments (good/evil, good/bad, beautiful/ugly, the one who is not with me is against me ....).

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